Scary Monsters by Michelle de Kretser

Author:Michelle de Kretser [Kretser, Michelle de]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
Published: 2020-08-25T00:00:00+00:00

It’s Monday morning, and I’m at The Coffee Spot. It’s in our shopping centre, a short walk away on the far side of Blue Nun Road. I’ve been coming here on my flexi-day for years. It began when Chanel insisted that I join a gym. I argued that lots of Australian men have a pot belly, but Chanel said that it was rarer in senior management. She’s more ambitious than I am – it’s the one area in which we hold different views. She tells me, ‘Russ is a fool. You say so yourself. How come he’s your manager and not the other way around?’ She knows the answer as well as I do: Russ’s brother-in-law is a cabinet minister. Not that it matters to me. I believe that it’s best for people like us not to aim for the heights. It creates envy and attracts unnecessary attention. My unfailing advice to the children was: Study hard enough to be in the top ten but not so hard as to end up in the top three. That’s my prescription for happiness. At work I strive to be nondescript and indispensable. My unassuming, unthreatening competence is recognised by the Department, and I aspire to no more than the middling level of seniority where I’ve made my niche. At a performance review, my former manager once told me, ‘You know, Lyle, there’s no kill in you.’ She was trying to spur me on, but I took it as a compliment. In the restructures, the killers go. Chanel understands my caution but it exasperates her. She’s the kind of person whose intelligence and drive lift her through the ranks. There’s also the Corporation factor. The multinational that she works for rewards visionary unprinciples, excellent muscle tone and healthy backstabbing in its employees.

To please Chanel, I signed up at the local gym. But I always walk straight past it and settle down in The Coffee Spot instead. My favourite table is in the right-hand corner, near the trough of plastic succulents. If it’s occupied, I take the corresponding table on the left. But on a Monday morning the few other customers are likely to be young mothers with preschoolers. They prefer the bigger tables in the middle where they can get together and there’s room for strollers and highchairs. If by chance neither of my preferred tables is free, I take it as a sign that misfortune is headed my way.

As a child, I liked to count the mynahs pecking at our lawn: One for sorrow, two for joy … Australians apply this rhyme to magpies, so now I do the same. This morning there were seven magpies in Blue Nun Road. Seven for a secret never to be told. That was a good omen, on top of which my table at The Coffee Spot was free. Dalma lifted her eyebrows when she saw me, and I waggled my fingers in return. She brought me my latte and almond croissant almost as soon as I’d sat down.

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